Ultimate Goal

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Thursday, February 7, 2008

Day 11 - down 8lbs

Body Clutter Investigator
Daily Chart

You can find this chart and other useful info at: http://www.flylady.net/pages/body_clutter_main.asp

Starting weight: 276.8lbs
Today’s Scale Reading: 268.8lbs
Gain/loss: -8lbs

Attitude:
Overall better than yesterday. Still a little down. HHT thinks it may be hormones due to PMS (I know a TMI - and also I'm seeing how many acronyms I can fit into one sentence). I really hope that is what it is. I began thinking that it's a little scary losing weight. I haven't been heavy all of my life, but for most of it and even when I wasn't heavy, I was using food as a crutch or drug as some would say (which is how I became heavy in the 1st place). Now that I can no longer drown my sorrows in a bag of chips, I find I feel inadequate to deal with my emotions. I'm not inadequate, just feel that way. And I'm leaking a lot more...like a real girl. It's annoying to the tom-boy that I am. If only it really were as easy as just exercising and eating right. There's a lot of soul searching that has to go on to lose weight and be healthier, too. I think there's some form of exorcising that needs to be done as well. Anyway, it's a little scary because I always think I look differently than I truly do. A form of denial if you will. My identity is a little bit tied up in what I've done for the past 20 years. So who am I really? Am I the friendly, heavy friend to all? Will I still be the same person underneath even when I don't look like this? Will I be the friendly, thinner friend to all? A journey like this will tend to change me in some ways other than physical. Just the stamina to continue it is a change in my personality. Well, just some rambling thoughts for today. I'm sure all this emotional baggage will also get worked out by the end. I'll see to that.

5 things I’m grateful for:
1. This blog - sshh don't tell my HHT - OOPS he probably just saw this :o)
2. Kids having fun
3. Being loved
4. Having deep thoughts
5. turkey bacon

5 things I did right:
1. Stuck to the plan
2. got all my water in
3. worked out
4. wore my shoes
5. shined my sink (for all those flybabies)

Food intake:
Breakfast:
2 eggs - 2 carb
2 sausage links - 1 carb

Morning Snack:
1 medium carrot - 4 carb
1/2 cup milk - 6.5 carb

Lunch:
3oz chicken
1 slice american cheese - 2 carb
1/2 cucumber - FREE

Afternoon snack:
protein shake

Dinner:
3 slices turkey bacon - 1.5 carb
1oz cheddar cheese
1/2 cucumber - FREE

Evening snack:
2oz cheddar cheese

Total:
17 carb

Movement:
Did I move any today?
yes - 20 minute cardio, 10 minute stretch

2 comments:

Julie said...

I completely understand about food being a crutch in place of dealing with your emotions. I feel like I've been the queen of that kingdom for a long time. Before getting preggo I had lost 15 pounds and it was exciting but scary too. Boredom is one of my emotional downfalls when it comes to eating. I didn't know what to do with myself. You know I really learned to start turning to God more. Man, did it help. Once I acknowledged that I could not do it on my own, it seemed to get so much easier.
I am *so* proud of you Rach! Congrats on the weight loss so far!

Anonymous said...

I am in fact reading your blog. Keep up the good work! Stretch is watching 8-)